While I was pregnant I spent a lot of time with different moms. I wanted to be around them and just see their life from an outside perspective. One thing I heard a lot from them was how lonely they felt sometimes. Some shared that their friends don’t come around often or getting an invite to something just seemed like a once and blue thing. The truth is that becoming a parent does change your life, I can’t just pick up and leave anymore. Every plan I make is around Calvin’s time. Sometimes I’m ready to go and he decides that he’s hungry or I take too long and now he wants to nap. Which in the beginning kept me from simply never go anywhere. That stage felt very lonely, yeah I wasn’t invited most places or friends didn’t text often but I was grateful for those that made effort to come by. They understand that I was in a different season, a season that I myself was trying to adjust too.
Friendship is important overall, but having friendships as a mom is such a sweet gift especially with friends who are in completely different seasons as you. I had so many friends come by just to help with Calvin, sometimes they just watched him while I slept on the couch. They would come by and drop off a meal or just hang out. They kept me informed of the outside world. Ha! It was just the love I needed those first few months of motherhood. One thing I’m learning is that community is precious to our lives. We need it, we were made to be in it with God and his people. But I think sometimes we think that because someone is not in the same season as us… what can we really talk about or have in common?
Well, you get growth. You get to grow and be part of whatever season your friend is in, at some point they were in the season you are in. I can’t say how thankful I was to spend my singleness around older married women. I learned so much from them but I also got the time to serve them. If you aren’t in a season of motherhood I encourage you to serve a mother especially if she’s your friend and if you are in a season of motherhood invite other women into your life, maybe go grocery shopping, on a lunch date, go to a museum or whatever you guys want. Being a mother should not keep you from enjoying friendships, yes it’s hard hanging with the kids tagging along but trust me you need that time too.
Today Calvin and I spent the day with my sweet friend Pamela, she’s also my co-worker. Her friendship is so refreshing to me. She has served our family in so many ways and adores Calvin. I love being able to speak into her life and also learning from her. We spent the afternoon at The Pint Shop and grabbed some lunch at a spot in the Meatpacking District. Just the outing any mama needs. Friendships like Pamela’s have been such a gift to me in this season of motherhood, they remind me why I need friendships in all seasons. To all my friends that have served and love me in this season, Thank you. I am blessed by your friendships.
Transparent city mama.
“Two people are better than one, because they get more done by working together. If one falls down, the other can help her up. But it is bad for the person who is alone and falls, because no one is there to help. If two lie down together, they will be warm, but a person alone will not be warm.” – Ecclesiastes 4:9-11