Between preparing for labor or getting the kids ready to start remote learning/ school, it can feel like each minute of your time is occupied with something else other than just you. The quiet moments that we desire often seem hard to find and the plan you made to catch a breath outside has become the last thing on your list; since it takes almost forever to leave the house with any child.
However taking a moment looks like for you, just take time to take it. I know it often seems impossible but it’s so necessary. Taking a moment for you doesn’t mean you have to leave the kids behind, you may just consider your self-care time a time where you just hang with the kids, soaking up all of them.
So here are a few tips for taking a moment:
– Breathe, before you pick up your phone or check off the first task on your to-do list… time a few mins to be in silence.
– Plan a time in the day or week where you focus on one thing that brings you joy.
-Remember to slow down, what will get done… will get done.
– Ask for help, how can someone else help you this week ?
– When the kids are in bed and the house is quiet… stop scrolling. Netflix has tons of great shows.
– Take a moment to remember just how beautiful and spectacular you are. You kill it everyday without a break.
If you’re a new mom… nope if you’re a mom I would recommend you get this book. I got it about a year ago and it always encourages and helps me understand some of my thoughts as a mom. Being a mom can feel overwhelming sometimes and it’s okay to say that out loud. I feel like sometimes we feel so much shame for thinking half of the things we think about. During my postpartum, I struggled a lot with feeling joy in being a mom and I was very anxious all the time about something happening to my son. I often wished I would have voiced half of the things I was thinking without feeling like someone would judge me. In this book, you’ll find all those thoughts you hide from other moms but also the ones you feel scared about saying out loud to yourself. Remember you were you before being a mom, think of who you were, and take care of her.
One of my biggest fears as I was preparing to welcome Calvin into my world was how well would I handle my anxiety around him. The thought of that made me weary. How will I explain to him my random breakdowns or the picking of my hair? Will I make him anxious? Nervous? Or worse, would he try to take on the burden on my anxiety on himself? For a long time, I felt shame about my anxiety, it was hard explaining to people why I was losing the front of my hair or telling my hair lady that I needed bangs just avoid picking at my hair. My anxiety has often ruled over my life, it’s a stealer of joy. After being diagnosed with an anxiety disorder while in College, being on medication and going to therapy for it, it’s felt like I would never get rid of my anxious heart and mind. I felt that the more I wanted to stop being anxious the more I became anxious. It’s hard being married and always feeling like you have to be cared for or even feel like your to much trouble for someone else. I can say that God knew exactly who I needed as a husband. Someone that is calm, understanding, loving and caring. I’m not sure I would want anyone else watching me have an anxiety attack other than him. But now someone else was coming and he will be around for all my moments, that was the scariest thing to think about.
I remember once crying to Ruben after having one of my many episodes and telling him how scared I was about Calvin watching me have an anxiety attack and maybe him feeling scared. How would I explain to him my anxiety and the root behind it all? I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to explain it, but what I can say is that God has walked me through my anxiety. I’ve heard so often people say “ if you trusted God more you wouldn’t be anxious” and although there some truth to that, those words aren’t comforting. And that’s not how mental health works. That’s also not how God deals with anxiety. The verse from 1 Peter 5:7 “ Casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you”, has been the verse I cling too since being diagnosed. It reminds me that God cares about all the things I get anxious about, even when I can’t explain it to anyone else. He knows my thoughts and heart deeply, he wants me to bring all those fears, and thoughts to him. He will bring healing, he will continue to walk with me and he will be the one to cast away all my fears. So as I wrestle with my anxiety, I pray that I would show Calvin that anxiety will not overcome me and even when it does that I know who I can run too; the Father that cares for me and him.
For the anxious beloved, know that God cares about your mental health. He wants to walk with you, heal you and free you of your worries.
Casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you – 1 Peter 5:7