Baby Wearing Love

I’m away on vacation with our little family. However, I wanted to quickly share my baby wearing faves! I shared these products on my IG page for my #productcrushwednesday series last week. Hope you love them & Check them out!

I can’t share enough how important I think babywearing is, did you know that studies have shown that babies grow healthier through physical touch? I’m so grateful for carriers because they allow me to share a special bond with my son. He’s close enough to kiss and feel his heartbeat. Since Calvin was premature I didn’t have physical contact with him till a week after giving birth, I got to hold him when I gave birth and they quickly took him away to the NICU. I was so emotional and desired to physically have skin to skin with him. I read so much during my pregnancy and this was one of the things most specialist and blogger moms spoke about. Another benefit about skin to skin is giving your baby the opportunity to breastfeed. Although Calvin had a lot of issues latching on, one of the reasons my supplies was so low was because of a lack of contact I had in the beginning with him and him not being able to latch correctly. So to any new mama reading, hold your baby as long as you want. But I’m sure you’re doing that anyway. Who wouldn’t! Anyways, I’m so thankful there are so many different baby wearing products for every stage! These are my fave.

Each one of these babywearing gears are so different but serves the same purpose, to carry baby close to kiss and hug. I’m currently using the @ergobaby and @mywildbird.

The Ergobaby was the first carrier I got gifted to me for our baby shower. It’s the Ergobaby 360, I love using it when I have to take long trips with Calvin. It gives me support, comfort and I can use it multiple ways, front, back, facing forward, side, It was perfect when we went hiking. I started using this a little later once Calvin met the weight requirement since he was a preemie. They do sell a newborn insert for smaller babies and it comes with a head cover for baby.

@sollybabywrap is a baby wrap, I used this wrap when Calvin was much smaller. I wore it around the house to get stuff done. Calvin would sleep for hours in this wrap. I would recommend it for newborn babies, gives you lots of skin to skin with baby. The material was so soft and it made me feel safe carrying him around with it.

@mywildbird the baby sling. I bought this sling for the summer. I wanted something lightweight and comfy. It’s been my favorite sling so far this summer. I’ve taken it to our pop art museum adventures and walks to the park, and I’m currently using it in Punta Cana. If your a breastfeeding mama you can also use it and feed baby in it. I love this company also because their slings are made by stay at home mothers! How beautiful is that?

Hope you found this post insightful! Let me know what’s your favorite babywearing gear!

love,

Transparent city mama. 

Different seasons, same friendships

1DE95786-3B7A-4E61-81D8-5B4BA5AE636FWhile I was pregnant I spent a lot of time with different moms. I wanted to be around them and just see their life from an outside perspective. One thing I heard a lot from them was how lonely they felt sometimes. Some shared that their friends don’t come around often or getting an invite to something just seemed like a once and blue thing. The truth is that becoming a parent does change your life, I can’t just pick up and leave anymore. Every plan I make is around Calvin’s time. Sometimes I’m ready to go and he decides that he’s hungry or I take too long and now he wants to nap. Which in the beginning kept me from simply never go anywhere. That stage felt very lonely, yeah I wasn’t invited most places or friends didn’t text often but I was grateful for those that made effort to come by. They understand that I was in a different season, a season that I myself was trying to adjust too.

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Friendship is important overall, but having friendships as a mom is such a sweet gift especially with friends who are in completely different seasons as you. I had so many friends come by just to help with Calvin, sometimes they just watched him while I slept on the couch. They would come by and drop off a meal or just hang out. They kept me informed of the outside world. Ha! It was just the love I needed those first few months of motherhood. One thing I’m learning is that community is precious to our lives. We need it, we were made to be in it with God and his people. But I think sometimes we think that because someone is not in the same season as us… what can we really talk about or have in common?

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 Well, you get growth. You get to grow and be part of whatever season your friend is in, at some point they were in the season you are in. I can’t say how thankful I was to spend my singleness around older married women. I learned so much from them but I also got the time to serve them. If you aren’t in a season of motherhood I encourage you to serve a mother especially if she’s your friend and if you are in a season of motherhood invite other women into your life, maybe go grocery shopping, on a lunch date, go to a museum or whatever you guys want. Being a mother should not keep you from enjoying friendships, yes it’s hard hanging with the kids tagging along but trust me you need that time too. Processed with VSCO with f2 preset

Today Calvin and I spent the day with my sweet friend Pamela, she’s also my co-worker. Her friendship is so refreshing to me. She has served our family in so many ways and adores Calvin. I love being able to speak into her life and also learning from her. We spent the afternoon at The Pint Shop and grabbed some lunch at a spot in the Meatpacking District.  Just the outing any mama needs. Friendships like Pamela’s have been such a gift to me in this season of motherhood, they remind me why I need friendships in all seasons. To all my friends that have served and love me in this season, Thank you. I am blessed by your friendships.

 

love,

Transparent city mama. 

 

“Two people are better than one, because they get more done by working together. If one falls down, the other can help her up. But it is bad for the person who is alone and falls, because no one is there to help. If two lie down together, they will be warm, but a person alone will not be warm.” – Ecclesiastes 4:9-11

Mom Guilt; The Working Mom.

     Mom guilt, oh man. I thought guilt was bad, but mom guilt is so much worse. Well, at least that’s what it felt like for me. While I was pregnant with my son Calvin,  I remember telling my husband that I would never be a stay at home mom. I didn’t feel like I was built for it and I struggled with the idea of having to stay home with a baby. It’s just something I wasn’t sure I could handle with my anxiety. 

      Fast forward to 3 months postpartum, I had experienced an early delivery, my son was premature, I spent two weeks in the NICU with him, he was later diagnosed with Pyloric Stenosis ( it causes a blockage of food at the stomach outlet) and he had to get surgery, I was depressed and extremely anxious and after experiencing all of this I had to start preparing myself to go back to work. I had no idea how I was gonna possibly go back without feeling like I was choosing my job over caring for my son. Guilt is a feeling that if you allow it to sink deep in your heart and mind it will paralyze you. So I decided that I wanted to stay home and I took back every word I said every time my husband asked me if I wanted to stay home. Unfortunately staying at home was not an option anymore because we couldn’t afford it. I felt more guilt and bitterness, I felt like the worse mom ever. 

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I took this picture the day before I had to go back to work.

   The time came when I had to head back to work, find Calvin a daycare and figure out how was I going to go about my life moving forward. I remember the night before my first day back to work, I spent the night rocking Calvin to sleeping and crying my eyes out. The next day I got up, got ready and went to work. I could already feel the tears coming the farther I was from him. As soon as I entered the room one of my students greeted me with a hug and an “ I miss you”. She sat at my desk while I put my stuff back into place and she was sharing the latest news on her life. For a moment I forgot why I was sad and remembered why I even wanted to work from the beginning. I love my job, I enjoy working. You see my reason for wanting to stay home came from fear and guilt. Fear that no one would be able to care for Calvin properly and guilt that I was choosing my career over my son. Being a working mom is very often look down upon by society ( one of the many things mom’s judge each other about, but that’s another story) I believe that God has given each one us different gifts and talents to use on this earth. He has given me a heart for youth and working with young girls. Working at a High School gives me that and I love it. Why should I feel like I have to choose between my son and my career? I can have both equally and share my career with my son. I want him to know I value the lives of teenagers, that I want to teach and help them grow. I know that working might keep me from missing out on important moments in my son’s life, but I hope that I would inspire him to pursue whatever makes his heart happy and may he be proud of the work I do.

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One of my beautiful High School Students.

      So to the working mama feeling guilty, you got this! You are no less of a mother because you work. You are no less of a mother because you love your career. You are no less of a mother because you can’t see yourself staying at home. You are no less of a mother because you enjoy alone time. You are no less of a mother for doing something for yourself that inspires you. The working mom and the stay at home mom should be met with praise, two mom’s choosing different ways of working and caring for their families, both making a sacrifice hoping that one day their children would say “ Thank you, mom, for all you’ve done and all that you do.”    

 

love,

Transparent city mama. 

Dear Mother in the NICU

Processed with VSCO with f2 presetDear NICU mother,

Can I tell you something? You are so strong and you are not alone. I know all the tears you’ve been crying, wondering why things just didn’t go the way you planned it out. Seems like you’ve been robbed from having the birth story you’ve been envisioning these last few months. I know, I felt it too. I know your probably angry and it’s okay.  I know you’re tired of going back and forth to the NICU, and I know you’re heart breaks every time you leave. It would take me hours before I walked away from my son’s incubator, even then I would leave in tears. I know you desire to hold your baby close, maybe even feel his or her heartbeat. Going back home empty-handed just looking over at the baby crib hoping soon enough you’ll glance over and baby will be there. Perhaps you’re waking up every three hours just to bring back liquid gold to fill their tummy up,( I’m rooting for you!)  but how you wish you’d be waking up to the sound of a hungry baby. Perhaps you’re anxious every time a monitor goes off even when it’s not your baby or when the neo-nurse calls. I know you have many questions but although there may be weeping, I surely can tell you that joy always comes. God is embracing you right now and He is with you in this season. Trust that He sees you and He knows your pain. Can I tell you something? You are one of the bravest mothers and you have a fighter just waiting to finally be home. I’m praying for you and your little blessing. How I hope you have someone encouraging you in this season, and if you don’t, know that there are many mothers who know what you are feeling.

                                                                                                  Love,

A once NICU mama