Between preparing for labor or getting the kids ready to start remote learning/ school, it can feel like each minute of your time is occupied with something else other than just you. The quiet moments that we desire often seem hard to find and the plan you made to catch a breath outside has become the last thing on your list; since it takes almost forever to leave the house with any child.
However taking a moment looks like for you, just take time to take it. I know it often seems impossible but it’s so necessary. Taking a moment for you doesn’t mean you have to leave the kids behind, you may just consider your self-care time a time where you just hang with the kids, soaking up all of them.
So here are a few tips for taking a moment:
– Breathe, before you pick up your phone or check off the first task on your to-do list… time a few mins to be in silence.
– Plan a time in the day or week where you focus on one thing that brings you joy.
-Remember to slow down, what will get done… will get done.
– Ask for help, how can someone else help you this week ?
– When the kids are in bed and the house is quiet… stop scrolling. Netflix has tons of great shows.
– Take a moment to remember just how beautiful and spectacular you are. You kill it everyday without a break.
If you’re a new mom… nope if you’re a mom I would recommend you get this book. I got it about a year ago and it always encourages and helps me understand some of my thoughts as a mom. Being a mom can feel overwhelming sometimes and it’s okay to say that out loud. I feel like sometimes we feel so much shame for thinking half of the things we think about. During my postpartum, I struggled a lot with feeling joy in being a mom and I was very anxious all the time about something happening to my son. I often wished I would have voiced half of the things I was thinking without feeling like someone would judge me. In this book, you’ll find all those thoughts you hide from other moms but also the ones you feel scared about saying out loud to yourself. Remember you were you before being a mom, think of who you were, and take care of her.
It’s been a tough week for our family and being a parent during this time has been difficult. The hardest part about mourning as a parent is also having to be emotionally and physically present for your child. Calvin reminds me that life continues to happen no matter how much I want to stop time. So in the mist of sadness and grief we did a this DIY Lava Lamp. He was so amazed and loved it, we know our dearest Tia Ada would have loved watching videos of this.
Added half the cup with water and oil, then added some food coloring drops. Calvin choose the color blue.
After I had him put the pieces of seltzer in the cup, I’ve enjoyed having him help during these projects. I’ve been using it as a time to practice active listening.
The bubbling was really amazing to see! He loved it!
This experiment is pretty quick and easy, so I would say doing at least three jars at a time. You definitely need lots of oil and consider using taller plain water bottles. It’s perfect for a toddler and great for building conversations.
Some questions I asked him and things I had him identify as we did the lava lamp:
What is the oil? , what is the water?, what colors do you see on the table ?, what color is the water turning?, what color is the seltzer tablet?, what is happening now that we put the seltzer inside?
If you’ve done this DIY before let me know how your kiddo love it or what you did differently.
Let me give you some back story to my breastfeeding journey with Calvin. Due to having preterm labor (A labor before 37 weeks), Calvin was premature as a 33 weeker. I gave birth, I got to hold him and the doctors took him away after that to the NICU. The first night my milk barely came in. I think mentally and emotionally I was too exhausted to even try but I did. Through the tears and sadness of not having him bu my side the first night I had to wake up every three hours ( Newborns feeding schedule is usually every 2 – 3 hours) and pump, that was the hardest thing I had to do. I went on to do that for two weeks which was the time he spent in the NICU.
The times that I would visit him we had a lot of skin to skin ( this is great for bonding and also stimulating your boobs to produce milk) and tried to breastfeed but either he was sleeping or couldn’t latch on correctly. Due to that he was fed through a feeding tube and given the formula to supplement what I wasn’t producing. I read articles on breastfeeding, spoke to lactation consultants, bought pills and cookies to increase my supplies, and spent hours pumping to produce in a day maybe 12oz of milk. I think over time Calvin became used to being bottle-fed and it wasn’t until that he had surgery that we found out he was tongue tie. Babies that are tongue or lip tie struggle latching on to your breast since they aren’t able to fully get a grip of your whole areola. It’s very painful for you and also frustrating for them because they’re only getting to latch on to your nipple. Clipping their tie, which is a small surgery allows the baby to freely open their mouth and latch on correctly. It’s easier for them to eat and empty out your breast.
After he got his tie clipped I moved on to exclusively pumping till he was six months and supplementing with formula. He got half breastmilk and formula in his bottle. I spent all those months crying and praying that my milk would increase. Some days were great but going back to work made it hard to meet the demand of pumping every three hours. Here’s something I would say if you find yourself in my shoes, your mental health is more important than the guilt of being a “bad mom” because you have to formula feed your child. Not everyone can produce milk, our bodies are imperfect. However long you tried, be proud of it.
My boobs produce MILK? How crazy is that! Being a mom has grown a love in me for my body. I’ve been so amazed at all the things I’ve been capable of doing. Embrace all of it, even the milk stains on your shirts.
Your milk will come in three stages: Colostrum, Traditional milk, & Mature Milk
Colostrum: When you hear in the beginning people talking about the “liquid gold” this is it right here. This yellowish milk is the first milk you will let down for your baby. It’s packed with protein, vitamins, and minerals in order to help your newborn fight against any bacteria or viruses.
Transitional milk: This milk is a mixture of colostrum and mature milk, usually around the third or fourth day.” It contains lower levels of immunoglobulins and protein than colostrum but has more lactose, fat, and calories.
Mature milk: This milk is thin and white, very much like watery skim milk, it’s packed with all the fat and other nutrients that growing babies need. This will be the milk you let down for the rest of your time breastfeeding.
(More informationcan be found on the “what to expect” website)
The beginning is very much trial and error, You’re new at this and so is a baby. If you’ll be delivering at a hospital, don’t be afraid to ask for help. I personally would suggest that if you can have skin to skin contact with your baby right away that you take the time to embrace each other and even attempt to breastfeed. Babies are usually ready to breastfeed right away but if your baby is not or even if you too tired after labor, it’s okay mama.
During your stay at the hospital, they will offer to feed the baby especially if your let down is a little slow if that’s not something you want to do then continue to ask for help in latching on the baby. Be vocal about what you want and what you need. Nursing isn’t easy, but with patience and help from others, you can get things going fast. Hospitals usually provide you with pumps in case you would rather pump milk for baby but if not, make sure to pack your own in your hospital bag.
Talk to a lactation consultant
You can talk to this person as many times you want and when you leave the hospital they will also be available. Hospitals offer lactation classes, however, during the pandemic I’m not sure how that looks like. So make sure to ask for information and even a number to get help from a consultant at home. The lactation consultant gave me a lot of tips and even a booklet to help me at home. She observed the way I would feed Calvin and also step in when I needed help. So take advantage of that. If you’re delivering at home, your midwife will most likely be your key person in the process.
Breastfeeding On Your Own
Create a feeding area: This is the area you want to use when breastfeeding at first. Once you get the hang of it, you’ll be breastfeeding anywhere in the house.
Get comfortable: If you can be the couch, your bed, or even rocking chair. If you need pillows or back support use them. The more relaxed your body is the easier it will feel for you and baby.
Water is your BFF: Drink lots and lots of water. It increases your milk and also keeps your hydrated.
Practice: Even if the baby is struggling, don’t give up. Keep trying to catch baby on and take note of things that work or don’t work. Does baby eat better is a certain position? Does one boob feel more full than the other?
Switch sides: It’s important that baby drains (empty’s out) one boob first before switching to the other. The more you drain your boob, the more milk you’ll continue to produce.
The more you feed, the more milk: It’s very important that you consistently breastfeeding or pumping in order to produce more milk. Babies usually eat every 2 – 3 hours average and some will even cluster feed ( feeding more consistently between hours. Although the temptation is to just let baby sleep or wait more than five hours to nurse or pump, try to fight against it. Building up your milk production will continue to increase your supply. If you’re feeding fewer times, your body will think that it’s already meeting the needs of your baby and therefore not produce more then it already is.
You got this: For some moms, breastfeeding comes very easy and for others, it doesn’t. it can feel emotionally draining and exhausting especially in the middle of the night. You may even feel resentful or lacking the desire to breastfeed your baby. As someone who’s experience wasn’t at all great, reading about the norms of breastfeeding helps me a lot. I felt so horrible at first and cried a lot trying to breastfeed. It was painful for me because of Calvin’s tongue tie. But breastfeeding should not be painful and if it is for you, check for babies latching or ask for support from a lactation consultant.
Here are some breastfeeding Must Have’s
Nipple Cream – This is my favorite nipple cream, it’s organic and very smooth on your breast. Breastfeeding can often leave your breast dry and raw, constantly putting cream on them will help. It’s as safe for babies while feeding.
Breast Therapy Pack – I haven’t used these before but I’ve heard great things about them. They’re great for soothing your breast, helps relieve engorgement. The hot therapy encourages milk let-down and helps relieve plugged ducts & mastitis.
Breastfeeding Pillow – Breastfeeding pillows are meant to support your baby while you nurse. I love the boppy but I will recommend looking for a pillow with a much flatter surface and back support. Here’s One
Nipple Shield – These are often used when a baby is struggling to latch on to your breast correctly. Some mamas use it if they have inverted nipples. Once the baby has a hang on feeding, no need to keep it for a long period of time.
Haakaa Silicone Breast Pump – This product is used for pumping during nursing, catching milk let down during feeding or a quick go-to pump.
Nursing Pads – Great for wearing under your bra to avoid milk leaking on your shirt.
Nursing Cup – Works in the form of a nursing pad, but it’s actually catching your precious liquid gold.
Lactation Massage Roller – Massaging your breast before feeding and during pumping helps with milk let down. The roller serves as a support to get rid of any milk ducts you may have hidden in your breast.
Well, the secret is out… we’re having another baby!I still can’t believe it. I’ve been dying to spill the beans but we’ve been focusing on taking care of each other and also this baby. After my pregnancy with Calvin I knew that moving forward my pregnancies would be high risk. During my first pregnancy I was told that my cervix was short and therefore my chances of carrying a baby full term were low. It’s the very reason why Calvin was premature (born at 33 weeks) but I’m thankful it wasn’t earlier. After our experience with Calvin in the NICU and everything that came after that we had a lot of fears. Would this baby come early? What if we couldn’t bring him or her home? Leaving the hospital without Calvin was one of the hardest things we had to do but we’re believing that God is in control of this pregnancy and it will finish however He sees fit. I’m so ready to smell tiny toes and wake up to cooing noises in the middle of the night. Haven’t had that in a while, so I’m excited.
Pregnancy During Quarantine
It’s been bitter sweet, sweet because I’ve been able to spend a lot of time with Calvin and Ruben. We’ve had some really good times. Bitter because my anxiety has been all over the place. Being home has been hard mentally. I’ve been resting a lot and taking small walks in order to keep myself active. My energy has picked up during this 2nd trimester. The 1st trimester was the hardest. I was nauseous, tired, I barely ate anything and physically my body just felt hit. I was worried about telling people or even getting excited without knowing if things would go smoothly. Overall, I think this quarantine has been a blessing. I get to be home with Calvin and prepare him to be a big brother, I’m nesting like a mad woman and throwing everything out but mostly I get to spend time with Ruben.
Entering the 2nd trimester I’ve been more joyful and mentally I’m doing better. I’m much bigger than I was with during my first pregnancy but I heard that happens. I feel beautiful just like I did with Calvin and I’m mostly all stomach. I’ve been on progesterone injections which help strengthen my cervix so I don’t go into early labor and I’ve been getting sonograms every two weeks. The injections hurt like hell, but hubby is killing it at playing doctor ( He’s the one giving me the shots) and despite having to go to the hospital so often, I’m pretty happy I get to see the baby grow. I’ve had some days of discouragement and sadness, I don’t have much control over my labor plan. At risk pregnancy have to labor in hospitals due to complications or any other emergency’s that may arrive during labor. I’m just hoping for a healthy baby and to have Ruben by my side, I’ll be one happy mama.
Big Brother Calvin
I’m not sure that Calvin fully understands that he’s gonna be a big brother but he knows something’s up. He’s been really attached and his mood changes a lot. It’s been hard having him home while working also, he needs a lot of attention like most toddlers. He’s been asking to go for walks and being a bit aggressive, he has an arm I tell you. We’re excited to see him transition to being an only child to a brother. Calvin is a sweet and loving kid, I’m sure he will love his sibling more than anything. He says “he is strong and brave” all the time. It’s the cutest thing ever. He randomly kisses my stomach and points at his own stomach and says “baby”? We’ve been trying to prepare him by helping him grow independence. Potty training was first on our list and now transitioning him to a big boy bed. We want to make things easier for him and us as we balance caring for both kids. For the rest of the time we just want to soak in all our time with him. It’s the last time it will be just us three.
I’ll be sharing more on our journey here on the blog, so stick around. In the meantime, here is our “The Office” theme announcement. We really love this show and couldn’t think of any better way than to tell everyone like this. Like how cute is Calvin dressed up as Dwight!
Pregnancy Fun Facts
I’m officially 20 weeks
Due date is September 30th ( Maybe Calvin and baby will share birthday months)
Cravings: Mangu, Ice cream, Chips
Baby is weighing bigger than expected… I’m not scared at all. Ha!
I’ve been sleeping like a baby.
Lots of nose bleeds, Any mama experience that?
My sense of smell is on point, I can smell everything.
Stomach is pretty tight and no stretch-marks.
I bought a sling as a welcoming baby gift to myself.
Baby registry got done back in February, it was a piece of cake this time around.